"The Date of Our Lives"

God, I'm SO BAD at writing in the first person. This isn't supposed to come off as some weird, self-conscious, crappy garble...

That girl burst through the door and I recognized her right away. She seemed so much more normal on her profile, but in that restaurant in the candlelight...God, she was hideous. I remember thinking, What does she think she's doing, showing up to a date with someone like me? I remember sizing her up. She was unbalanced, unsure of herself, uncomfortable, but she tried desperately to look calm and at-ease. She probably had never been on a yacht. She probably went to a public university. Or worse - a community college... Dear God, what if her parents were poor? That's probably why she went to community college. She probably hated businesspeople - and probably just because she resented us for making more money than her. Ugh, she was probably a writer or something. Just pitiful.

I decided right there that the date would not be happening. I couldn't be seen in the restaurant with that awkward, dark, creepy girl. What would the guys think if they saw me there with her? There were probably people from work. We were probably the only people in this town with the class to be able to dine here. I opened the menu and buried my face in it. This girl wasn't even worth the prices on that menu. She'll think I stood her up. It'll be fine, I thought. And it would have worked. She wouldn't have seen me if I hadn't looked up for a second to make sure she wasn't watching me.

Oh god, don't recognize me. Don't take one step closer to me. I could feel her disgusting presence. It felt like she made the floor shake. She was fat, not even shapely, and she lacked grace entirely. The silverware even began to tremble as she approached me.

"Hi.." She said, trying to get my attention. She came closer, staring right at me. I didn't respond.

"You're Evan, right?" God, even her voice was disgusting. She was from some Midwestern town. Probably not even a city. She's probably some blank, mindless organic-farm-type liberal.

"I think you're mistaken," I glanced up at her, annoyed, and promptly buried my face deeper into the menu. God, I hoped no one saw her with me.

"Hahaha..don't be silly. I remember you! From your profile picture. I'm Kat," she was loud too. People could totally hear her. She jerked her wrist forward at me, expecting a handshake. I stared blankly at her, making clear that I did not care for her presence. This girl was not worth my time. She wasn't worth the fresh polish on my shoes. She wasn't worth my clean shave, my navy blue suit coat, my perfect hair cut. I wanted her to just get away from me.

She sat down anyway. Just like that. I didn't even ask for it, didn't even say it was okay. She just did it. That's when I knew that would become the worst night of my life.